forgotten hand ,dwindling arm…

when my eyes moisten
when my hands shake
numbness cover me
refrainin to disdain
the sorrow i borrowed
the pain i beared
for everyone with will
to certify happiness
js to hear spirited soul
when my heart pours
the bearings it followed
none of head counts
no one wish to account
the countless times of sorrow
when slowly walkd ascertaining
the wish of others no one knew
d song of sorrow never sung
time changes so fast
no one stood agnst tornado
left blank to decide
whom i startd the journey with
with the trust of compactness
but running away they see
the only way to leave
let the almighty warn them
the importance of dat head
the soul dat was with them
when river flown diffrnt way
who bore d brunt of egos
that everyone loaded
but stil the heart is pure
abscondin frm cheated faces
finding the hand dats stiff
not the arm dat dwindles
every moment every second
to leave the head alone
again streching to reach
when times shines apart
but with the fear of destiny
that clung alongside every moment
confused whos holding hands
dnt let dat head submerge
himself in d crowd
dat is everythn except you ….

what do i fear ??

life for me always been like a river ,happiness just like its flow ,sumtimes like floody monsoons to times alarming a drought . although i think m just 20 years and yet i hav a whole life ahead of me but times come when we want to have a broader and much sofisticated perspective of our life ,wen we start thinkin ‘is this d life we assumed for ourselfs ?’

recently i was just going back home for my summer break , a break wich means seeing d closest ones after nearly 5 months ,to have food wich we can die for..hehe.. and most important the calmness of being cared . I hav a special affection with the trains coz i hav got some of the closest frnds coz of it only …hehe …That day i had to catch Rajdhani exp at 7 in d morning ,as was expected from me after a series of tensed days i had a nice nite out ,not jus for d sake of entertainment but also jus to keep myself awake for d morning train ..train was almost on time and soon i was preparin to jus fit my luggage and goin for a nice AC sleep ..soon the tea arrived with the declaration dat breakfast is soon gonna served ,didn had anythn whole nite so was tempted to keep myself kicking for summore mins ..soon entered 2 of my seniors from college ,had a warm hanshake followed by wat u can call a group tea …d female one was surely in a mood of sum wat like raggin coz d first ques was “do u hav a gf ?” hehe .. i knew both ways i would had been screwed up , so js shot “no ” ,surprisingly she js listened my answer and said u r lucky ..hehe ..but wat catchd my attention was d way she replied ..i thot luck supports truth ..hehe …n den d conversation started with me almost fainting n my eyes threatening to blur …but den came a question from dat girl ” WHAT DO U FEAR ??” her voice was so deep that i was soon swept away by a series of thoughts ,wat to tel her ?? i started calculating how much i fear of different things …i was js manipulating some crap wen d newspaper arrived ..i jus grabbed one to hv a look … the first news i read was ’23 killed in bomb blast in lahore ‘ followed by ’12 killed in an earthquake in afghanistan ‘, ’2 men shot dead in noida resisting eve teasing ‘,’ wife murdered husband for money ‘ and many more of similar sort.
Now d ques was clear in my mind , she wasnt interested in knowing my short term fears like my academic result ,attendence shortage, complications in relations but she wanted to js knw hw a normal man fear different things . i ws jus pondering wen i noticed her taking out a pen and a peice of paper to write my views but dis act also made me a bit over catious .
I started with ” i fear every unknown person sittin besides me , i fear of travelling in a train wich could be bombed anytime , any building wich can crash due to earthquake….” nd many more …i wasnt replying her but was askin myself only wich thing i fear d most . the girl soon realised dat she had thrown me into d worst question dat nyone can answer and she was kind of smiling at me . But den i dn knw how i answered ” i fear myself d most ” . all wer looking at me for an explanation wich i didn want to give but i js said ” all my other fears are indirectly related , i cant control dem , i cant stop an earthquake neither can i stop a militant entering frm kashmir , but al i can do is to keep myself in control ,want to try not to b a fear for someone else ” .but i js wana ask everyone “think deep n answer what do u fear ???”

courage to survive …..?

twisting winds may bend my back
they may put shackles around my neck
i may b bound by chains of defeat
but dont u think that i will retreat….

they may bound my body,not my soul
n desires within burning lyk coal
they can delay bt nt delete
the wonderful chapters of my life
that i m yet to meet

the angels of heaven may giv up
but i wont accept the poison cup
this the battle i want to fight
no,i m nt scared of fire or height

i m nt afraid of atrocities n plight
let adversities show all their power n might
earthquakes may shake,cyclones may break

bt they cannot lead me to the destined fate
because destiny may not be…
the way i want it to be,
i refuse to its commands,
i leave it behind

because my zenith of success is 4 me to define
i m in love,with this journey of my life
so wat if even the wind sears lyk knife
i dont believe god will cum n help me

he has left me here to be watevr i want to be
he wants my elixier of ambitions to flow
he just checks its thrust with a regular boulder or blow

there may b tyms,wen clouds may b dense
they may hide my radiance immense
but i m the sun…
i will cum out of curtains 4 sure
n will agin shine wid a glow so pure

i will surely achieve d pinnacle thats mine
just trust me n giv me sum tym

plz let me rest for sometime….

whole day converting sweat to gold
eyes filled with utter relief
my family is not cryin of hunger
a soothing breeze just tickled my hair
please let me rest for sometime…

ears were gifted to God
to bear the cacaphony of crusher
so he is going to save my roof
from the tempering that nature gifted
please let me rest for sometime now

strengthening heart to face world
my fortunes are all to blame
soon the rain going to drench me
but for all my hands are still afixed to me
please let me rest for sometime

tasted the fruit to b honest
having only a pair of clothes to hide myself
still i dont fear dirt on my soul
as my support still believes in my will
at least please let me rest for sometime …

a silent cry ……

i m lost again
to care for in vain
eyes warnin to get wet
i begged first let me set
evrythn wich i got wrong
nothin for wich i cud sing a song

hw cud i hide d pain
m carryin it for vain
coz d one i want to face
is nw havin a mask to fake
a person who can catch bye
every hidden tear of her eye

i tried to prove myself
wen my soul was not himself
on d knees i prayed
for my happiness to b sprayed
do nyone care i asked
has she let her eye opened

m away frm feelings now
coz heart pumps js for life sumhow
life that was gifted
to spread love not hatred
see wat i hv become
js prayin for you to come
i m lost again …..

let d soul smile ……..

deeds r deeds
no one to plead
carry d song
wd a smile for long…….

things vl change
v hav to set d range
see d gift of life
u hav me wd u beside ..

talks r strange
sumtimes mouth has to change
share wd same zeal
u vl feel happiness in ur meal…..

smile like a rainbow
in frnt of sun
no matter wat cums next
u vl alwys b a warm text

follow only d light
no matter frm wer it is bright
cheer d soul
for bringin u here happily widout foul ……

killing silence …….

always dere to read people
to b dere when needed,
always climbing every hill
too steep dat evryone nodded,

he was always d one standing besides
 either wanted or unwanted,
look d irony still he feels lonely evrytime
when life wants him to get beheaded,

listening to evryone either close or unknown,
this was d ritual dat has never ended,
until one day when his own share
 was left alone to be cremated,

he who not even let his mind to sneak into
 d confidentials dat evryone had shared,
pity the agony dat he himself collects his own feelings
 he dared to share with someone like a carcass thats red,

everyone took him as a chance
to make and feel themselves heaven and stimulated,
but how could they know they are standing
with a man already decomposed to lonely hell …………………..!!!!!!

freshness —–of soul and life —–

    

the seed has sprouted with love and affection 
that gave many a reason to get distinction ,

after living on a rented space which was rented for nothing but care
even then he or she was fed without any fare ,

like the farmers who wish for the first drop of rains in hot summers
everyone waited for him or her to open the eyes with glitters ,

sorry for the pain that he or she caused
but now the point was clear , either it was he or it was she to b called,

spring came as d best one for the jungle ,
happiness freshened d whole atmosphere where he or she was soon going to mingle ,

see d beauty that god has created ,
twinkling stars are gettin embedded in d eyes of creatures everyday either sooner or belated……!!!…!>>!!!>>!!!!>>>!!!!!!

morning as i see….

when the sun sneak through the ever lasting darkness,
i wake up to see the same face in the mirror again,
with the cool breeze purifying my thoughts and soul,
i thank d almighty for giving me another day again ,

always looking forward travelling on a series of plans ,
d heart alwys gives d direction to follow
ready to fly anytime ,
feeling d brain waves as d wings to borrow,

past either good or bad is always respected ,
only to tighten the seat belts for the future,
my aim just forces me to drive my whole body ,
to the destination either practical or immature,

suddenly i feel myself standing between crowd of thousands ,
screams deafening the only two ears that god had gifted,
but this is wat nature had taught me ,
to lift d soul of not only mine but of hundreds ,
to guide anyone but also to get ready to b guided………..

come back to me from the sky …..

Today, i tasted defeat,
trust me,
i cant bear this heat.
even worse,
u r not here to meet
hold me, i m gonna break down,
there is no one i can trust,
in this crowded town.
Do u know,
how it feels to be alone,
when there is no one to hear,
when i cry or moan?
You will have to find a way,
and do just as i say,
don’t ask me why…
come back to me from the sky.

They tell me,
u r one amongst the stars,
but as u can see,
it cant hide the scars.
the scars destiny gave,
the scars that will never fade,
they will always remain ablaze…
’cause now that i m left alone,
no feelimgs that u ever shown,
my soul says it aloud…
u can call it rude and proud,
but u will have to find a way,
n do just as i say,
don’t ask me why…
come back to me from the sky.

they asked me to start afresh,
so i started picking my bits,
from all that trash.
But for a reason i dont know,
i couldnt let anything to go.
i never wanted to mive on,
and i ask what if it is so?
They wanted me to dispose it all,
but i didnt let anyone to throw,
all that i had…
both good and bad.
But when even all the tears that i shed,
could not tell me whic way to tread,
i turned back to you, i fell on my knees,
and said, oh please……
you will have to find a way,
and do just as i say,
just dont ask me why…
come back to me from the sky.